The Ultimate Scientific Dictionary (Part 2)

Chemical Engineering: The practice of doing for a profit what an organic chemist only does for fun. Chromatography: (From Gr. chromo [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][colour] + graphos [writing]) The practice of submitting manuscripts for publication with the original figures drawn in non-reproducing blue ink. Clinical Testing: The use of humans as guinea pigs. (See also PHARMACOLOGY and TOXICOLOGY) Compound: To make worse, as in: 1) A fracture; 2) the mutual adulteration of two or more elements. Computer Resources: The major item of any budget, allowing for the acquisition of any capital equipment that is obsolete before the purchase request is released. Eigen Function: The use to which an eigen is put. En: The universal bidentate ligand used by coordination chemists. For years, efforts were made to use ethylene-diamine for this purpose, but chemists were unable to squeeze all the letters between the corners of the octahedron diagram. The timely invention of en in 1947 revolutionised the science. Evaporation Allowance: The volume of alcohol that the graduate students can drink in a year’s time. Exhaustive Methylation: A marathon event in which the participants methylate until they drop from exhaustion. First Order Reaction: The reaction that occurs first, not always the one desired. For example, the formation of brown gunk in an organic prep. Flame Test: Trial by fire. Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalise what engineers have been doing informally all along. Grignard: A fictitious class of compounds often found on organic exams and never in real life. Inorganic Chemistry: That which is left over after the organic, analytical, and physical chemists get through picking over the periodic table. Mercury: (From L. Mercurius, the swift messenger of the gods) Element No. 80, so named because of the speed of which one of its compounds (calomel, Hg2Cl2) goes through the human digestive tract. The element is perhaps misnamed, because the gods probably would not be pleased by the physiological message so delivered. Monomer: One mer. (Compare POLYMER). Natural Product: A substance that earns organic chemists fame and glory when they manage to systhesise it with great difficulty, while Nature gets no credit for making it with great ease.

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